Intentions... Not Expectations
In training and competition, I want athletes to have intentions or goals, not expectations.
Expectations set you up for failure, which is attended by disappointment, frustration, doubt, diminished confidence and any number of other unpleasant and unproductive feelings.
If you expect something to happen, as if it’s a foregone conclusion, the logical explanation when it doesn’t happen is that you were wrong about your abilities or are in some other way not good enough—it is, and you are, a failure.
This chips away at your belief and confidence in yourself, making performance and accomplishment progressively more difficult over time, and inducing anxiety and fear when you’re under pressure… which your expectations create.
If instead you have intentions or goals, you create a map to accomplishment that you can follow and use for measurement and evaluation along the way.
You set out to achieve a specific goal, task or performance with the confidence that it’s achievable—you can’t intend to do something you believe is impossible.
When you achieve it, you bolster your confidence. If you fall short, you can find your location on the path, assess what you did well and what didn’t work as intended, and determine how to adjust for the next attempt.
It becomes a learning experience that bolsters your confidence in your ability to continue forward motion despite setbacks or obstacles, rather than evidence of your incapability.
Keep in mind also the distinction between belief and expectation—you can believe you’re able to achieve something without expecting it to happen.
This is a more effective mental approach because it positions you as completely responsible for the outcome, meaning you remain actively in pursuit rather than assuming the events will play out the way you want, and when they don’t, feeling like the entire world you know has crumbled.
The obvious question is: How do you do this?
Practice.
There’s no formula or paint-by-the-numbers process.
You choose to do it, you stay focused on it as a goal, and you make choices and take actions that support it each day.
Expectations set you up for failure, which is attended by disappointment, frustration, doubt, diminished confidence and any number of other unpleasant and unproductive feelings.
If you expect something to happen, as if it’s a foregone conclusion, the logical explanation when it doesn’t happen is that you were wrong about your abilities or are in some other way not good enough—it is, and you are, a failure.
This chips away at your belief and confidence in yourself, making performance and accomplishment progressively more difficult over time, and inducing anxiety and fear when you’re under pressure… which your expectations create.
If instead you have intentions or goals, you create a map to accomplishment that you can follow and use for measurement and evaluation along the way.
You set out to achieve a specific goal, task or performance with the confidence that it’s achievable—you can’t intend to do something you believe is impossible.
When you achieve it, you bolster your confidence. If you fall short, you can find your location on the path, assess what you did well and what didn’t work as intended, and determine how to adjust for the next attempt.
It becomes a learning experience that bolsters your confidence in your ability to continue forward motion despite setbacks or obstacles, rather than evidence of your incapability.
Keep in mind also the distinction between belief and expectation—you can believe you’re able to achieve something without expecting it to happen.
This is a more effective mental approach because it positions you as completely responsible for the outcome, meaning you remain actively in pursuit rather than assuming the events will play out the way you want, and when they don’t, feeling like the entire world you know has crumbled.
The obvious question is: How do you do this?
Practice.
There’s no formula or paint-by-the-numbers process.
You choose to do it, you stay focused on it as a goal, and you make choices and take actions that support it each day.
