Articles
Dumb Weightlifting Questions
October 17 2012
October 17 2012
It was suggested to me by our talented editor Yael that I write an article about “dumb” weightlifting questions. I turned to the internet’s leading repositories of dumb questions—Facebook and Twitter—for some ideas. The following are some of the better ones you provided me. She told me my answers were obnoxious and unhelpful so I'll be doing a real version in the Performance Menu next month, but I figured these shouldn't go to waste. Please note that none of these answers will be helpful.
Will knee wraps make me stronger?
No. They will make you lift more weight.
What's a WOD?
It’s an obnoxious designation of a workout performed in isolation rather than as a part of a long-term program with purpose and effect.
How many miles should I run a week?
About one more than how many you’re being chased.
Do you think if I had better technique I could lift more?
If you’re asking this question, your technique is horrid and your lifts are not heavy enough. So yes.
Will knee socks make me lift more?
No.
How come people grunt and yell?
Asks the gentleman who’s never physically exerted himself.
Should I breathe in on the way down and breathe out on the way up?
In an elevator or what?
Why do weighlifting coaches hate the low bar back squat though powerlifting gurus (Louie Simmons) swear by it?
That’s like asking why baseball players don’t use footballs.
Why are bumper plates colored like skittles?
Addition is hard enough as it is without having to inspect every plate on the bar to find out what its weight is first.
Weightlifting and children
That’s not a question. It’s not even a statement. It’s just three English words written consecutively.
Unilateral exercises or drills to increase speed & balance on your weak side
Also not a question. Just a longer string of words.
My shoes smell horrible
Not a question and also gross.
I follow Hook Grip and they posted a pic from the recent Olympics. The pic was of a guy snatching and at the end of the first pull. In the pic he was on his toes, heels were off the ground. Why is this bad? He placed 3rd overall.
It’s not bad and never has been.
Where are the machines?
In the singlets.
Do I have to squat?
No. You also don’t have to not be a pussy.
I know we power clean with a med ball but why don't we power snatch hang squat with a med ball?
We do none of those things and a second mention of them will get you escorted out the front door.
What's your best 'Fran' time?
Every time I decided not to do Fran.
How do you flip your hands open in the clean from a Hook grip!? I can do it from a regular grip, but when I hook, it is harder for me to manage the flip of the wrists into position. You did say dumb, right?
Stop gripping the bar and push your elbows up.
Does weightlifting make girls look manly?
There are two kinds of men in the world: Those who find women weightlifters attractive, and those who don’t find women attractive.
Why are so many weightlifters fat?
Because you don’t know what a weightlifter is and are looking at the wrong people.
I'd love the definitive discussion on high bar vs low bar. Not really why you would do each one, but more HOW you do each one. Like do you send the hips back first on both or do you just drop down on HBBS? I've heard conflicting advice.
People still use the low-bar back squat?
How important is ab strength?
Not at all as long as you don’t want to do anything athletic.
When is a 'weight class' worth considering?
When you compete in a sport that has weight classes.
What's the single best accessory lift for each of the clean, jerk, and snatch?
The squat.
I hate the hook grip... Why should I use it?
Get stronger and quicker and you’ll find out.
Does the bar actually have to touch my body? It hurts my waistline.
No, the bar can be wherever you want it to be, including not overhead.
Wouldn't it just be easier to power clean it? Why do I have to squat all the way down?
Yes it would. It would also be easier to lift less weight. Even easier to not lift weights at all. It’s weightlifting; it’s supposed to be hard.
Isn't weightlifting just all technique? Some of those guys don't even look strong.
Yes. If your technique is advanced enough, it will actually circumvent the laws of physics. There is no spoon.
How can i stop the bar from hitting my knees when i pull?
Stand up.
Why do I always hit myself in the junk when I do cleans?
Stay over the bar longer. And wear underwear.
I can power clean way more than I can front squat. What's my problem?
You don’t squat enough.
Do weightlifting competitions play better music than crossfit competitions?
I don’t know, I’m busy lifting weights, not dancing.
Biceps curls: no good?
CrossFit propaganda.
I keep getting bruises on my you know what and hips! What am I doing wrong?
Not keeping the bar close enough to your body before you hump it with your you know what.
Why do weightlifting girls always have to pee?
I don’t think they do. I think they go hide the bathroom so they can check their iPhones more.
How do you determine whether an athlete should stick with their bodyweight/weight class, increase to a heavier weightclass or decrease to a lighter weightclass?
Check his bodyweight.
How do I politely pause a conversation with a cute girl to get my next set in without sounding like a d-bag?
Only a d-bag wouldn’t pause the conversation to train.
Will knee wraps make me stronger?
No. They will make you lift more weight.
What's a WOD?
It’s an obnoxious designation of a workout performed in isolation rather than as a part of a long-term program with purpose and effect.
How many miles should I run a week?
About one more than how many you’re being chased.
Do you think if I had better technique I could lift more?
If you’re asking this question, your technique is horrid and your lifts are not heavy enough. So yes.
Will knee socks make me lift more?
No.
How come people grunt and yell?
Asks the gentleman who’s never physically exerted himself.
Should I breathe in on the way down and breathe out on the way up?
In an elevator or what?
Why do weighlifting coaches hate the low bar back squat though powerlifting gurus (Louie Simmons) swear by it?
That’s like asking why baseball players don’t use footballs.
Why are bumper plates colored like skittles?
Addition is hard enough as it is without having to inspect every plate on the bar to find out what its weight is first.
Weightlifting and children
That’s not a question. It’s not even a statement. It’s just three English words written consecutively.
Unilateral exercises or drills to increase speed & balance on your weak side
Also not a question. Just a longer string of words.
My shoes smell horrible
Not a question and also gross.
I follow Hook Grip and they posted a pic from the recent Olympics. The pic was of a guy snatching and at the end of the first pull. In the pic he was on his toes, heels were off the ground. Why is this bad? He placed 3rd overall.
It’s not bad and never has been.
Where are the machines?
In the singlets.
Do I have to squat?
No. You also don’t have to not be a pussy.
I know we power clean with a med ball but why don't we power snatch hang squat with a med ball?
We do none of those things and a second mention of them will get you escorted out the front door.
What's your best 'Fran' time?
Every time I decided not to do Fran.
How do you flip your hands open in the clean from a Hook grip!? I can do it from a regular grip, but when I hook, it is harder for me to manage the flip of the wrists into position. You did say dumb, right?
Stop gripping the bar and push your elbows up.
Does weightlifting make girls look manly?
There are two kinds of men in the world: Those who find women weightlifters attractive, and those who don’t find women attractive.
Why are so many weightlifters fat?
Because you don’t know what a weightlifter is and are looking at the wrong people.
I'd love the definitive discussion on high bar vs low bar. Not really why you would do each one, but more HOW you do each one. Like do you send the hips back first on both or do you just drop down on HBBS? I've heard conflicting advice.
People still use the low-bar back squat?
How important is ab strength?
Not at all as long as you don’t want to do anything athletic.
When is a 'weight class' worth considering?
When you compete in a sport that has weight classes.
What's the single best accessory lift for each of the clean, jerk, and snatch?
The squat.
I hate the hook grip... Why should I use it?
Get stronger and quicker and you’ll find out.
Does the bar actually have to touch my body? It hurts my waistline.
No, the bar can be wherever you want it to be, including not overhead.
Wouldn't it just be easier to power clean it? Why do I have to squat all the way down?
Yes it would. It would also be easier to lift less weight. Even easier to not lift weights at all. It’s weightlifting; it’s supposed to be hard.
Isn't weightlifting just all technique? Some of those guys don't even look strong.
Yes. If your technique is advanced enough, it will actually circumvent the laws of physics. There is no spoon.
How can i stop the bar from hitting my knees when i pull?
Stand up.
Why do I always hit myself in the junk when I do cleans?
Stay over the bar longer. And wear underwear.
I can power clean way more than I can front squat. What's my problem?
You don’t squat enough.
Do weightlifting competitions play better music than crossfit competitions?
I don’t know, I’m busy lifting weights, not dancing.
Biceps curls: no good?
CrossFit propaganda.
I keep getting bruises on my you know what and hips! What am I doing wrong?
Not keeping the bar close enough to your body before you hump it with your you know what.
Why do weightlifting girls always have to pee?
I don’t think they do. I think they go hide the bathroom so they can check their iPhones more.
How do you determine whether an athlete should stick with their bodyweight/weight class, increase to a heavier weightclass or decrease to a lighter weightclass?
Check his bodyweight.
How do I politely pause a conversation with a cute girl to get my next set in without sounding like a d-bag?
Only a d-bag wouldn’t pause the conversation to train.
There are two kinds of men in the world: Those who find women weightlifters attractive, and those who don’t find women attractive."
Everett, 2012
Brilliant reply!
What's a WOD?
It’s an obnoxious designation of a workout performed in isolation rather than as a part of a long-term program with purpose and effect
The response of course is to eat protein, lots of it.
It’s an obnoxious designation of a workout performed in isolation rather than as a part of a long-term program with purpose and effect?
Man, we don't mock Olympic lifters with shots regarding "narrowness of task and singleness of purpose." Because we know it's not all snatches and clean&jerk... We CrossFitters try to learn from you... and you could sure do the same from us! OBTW, we do "barbell curls" for strength... and we do 10-8-6-4-2's in a progression over time and are always working tips from Olympic lifters to work our way up the "technique/form/and PR" ladder! Great Blog - Funny piece!
Thanks
Cfhpf@yahoo.com
My fault, I misread that question as the end of the 2nd pull. In the case of the first, I'd say it's not ideal, but to call it "bad" seems severe when some of the world's most successful lifters have done this.
There is about 6 years worth of info on what I think about CrossFit, good and bad, on this site.
Whether or not Crossfit indirectly encourages bad form and the possibility of injury with Olympic lifts, it still has given a huge visibility to the sport – and quite possibly to your gym and business. How many guys want to learn the lifts now to do better at the WODs? In fact, most likely the majority of the Olympic Weightlifting enthusiasts you see at seminars, etc today are Crossfitters. At least that what they look like when you see the pictures/videos.
Crossfit is not perfect by any means. If poorly taught, it may lead to injury, exhaustion, etc. It is also making it possible for questionably trained individuals to open gyms with no real experience. Even worse it has actually become a huge marketing distraction in recent years instead of focusing on quality.
My point is that the fitness/health-related benefits of a well-executed, consistent high-intensity cross-training program like Crossfit brings are solid. As a sport and fitness activity, Oly lifting by itself will not provide those benefits. If you’re competing, fine, stick to a single minded training program which only targets Oly lifting, get weight and do whatever you need to do to be successful at it. But constantly pointing people away from any cardio-related workouts just to be a better lifter is wrong. Some folks may be in tune with becoming 100% oly lifters and stick to a more strict lifting routine. But a lot of other folks may still want to learn proper form and technique, lift some decent weight, be passionate about it and do well without getting fat, and downright “fitting the oly lifter profile or stereotype”. Just make the difference when you teach, and approach both audiences properly (and with equal enthusiasm) instead of just siding with one training program that is strictly based on Oly lifting foundation.
That's actually not a jab at CF or CFers generally. It's directly a jab at the term and its implications. I'm very aware that not all CFers make that mistake.
I have learned from CF. Did you know that I co-owned the 4th CF affiliate ever? Or that I used to coach at Cf certs? That, in fact, I was on the coaching staff at Dave Castro's Level 1 cert?
In other words, I've been involved with CF--professionally, not just as a guy doing .com workouts occasionally in a garage somewhere--for longer than nearly everyone on the planet. Maybe it's presumptuous of me, but I feel like that's adequate experience to make reasonable critiques of CF. I understand that sometimes they're not fun to hear, and sometimes I do it in a way that seems cruel, but I have dry sense of humor; I don't mean to insult anyone who is working hard and is just interested in doing better. In fact, I have spent the last 8 years doing things to help CFers train and coach better and run better businesses.
My suggestion would be to keep this in mind when reading things you feel are slights against you and understand that if I'm saying something that seems insulting or offensive, it's not because I'm trying to be a dick or make fun of you, but that I've probably been talking about the same problem for many years already and sometimes I have some steam to blow off.
I don't point people away from "cardio" work or anything else, except when appropriate, which is when they want to achieve certain weightlifting goals that warrant that degree of focus. It's not wrong, it's realistic. When people ask me for help, I assume they want the truth, not just to have what they're currently doing validated.
I would encourage you guys to read some more on this site and I think you'll get a better sense of things. My apologies again if you feel insulted, as that's not my intention.
In the singlets.
^Can I use that whenever I want?
Those are a couple of good ones.
I would encourage you guys to read some more on this site..."
Spot on.
Plus: In Issue 93 October 2012 of the Performance Menu there is an article titled... Wait for it: Weight Lifting for Crossfit.
Greg, thanks for the websit, the knowledge and the truth you throw at us.
"How can i stop the bar from hitting my knees when i pull?"
"Stand up."
Awesome! I guess sometimes stating the obvious is just necessary.
Constructive advice? Kind of like the 262 free articles, 886 free videos, 230 free exercise demos, 2457 free daily workouts, not to mention all the forum posts, FB/twitter advice, almost 10 years of monthly Performance Menu issues, multiple books and DVDs, etc.? Or do you mean in addition to that? Enjoy a bit of humor for a minute.
Quick story: I'm at 19 year old girl that loves lifting.
People usually don't expect that. The other day, I showed a guy a photo of my dog on my phone. Like a possessive egomaniac, he continued to scroll through my photo gallery, to find that the next item was a video of me snatching. The first word that came out of his mouth was "Manly".
If a dude (purposely not using the word "man") truly respected women, he would accept them if they did or did not fit into their slim definition of what women and girls should act and look like. If they do not, it extremely apparent that you do not respect women at all!
NOTE: I do CF, but I'm an oly lifter.